Can we talk for a minute? There are some things we want to get off our chests. Maybe you should sit down for this one. (Why the hell are you standing up at a computer?) Since we don't want to waste your time or ours, we'll get right to the point. This isn't working out. You know, between us. This whole thing. We've grown apart. Wait, before you interrupt, just let us finish. This is no joke.

Why are you laughing? You see, this is exactly what we're talking about! We try to be serious for a minute, and you just want to sit there and laugh and make a big fat joke out of it. No, of course it's not your fault. It's not you, it's us. We just can't devote the attention to you that we used to. You gave us your heart, we gave you a pen. Things are changing for us. Good things. We just think it would be better for both of us if we ... didn't see you anymore.

We know, we know, it's not easy to hear. But, listen, we still think you're a great person. We're not saying we don't want to be friends, but, well, things just got moving too quickly for us, and soon we were spinning out of control. And once we hit that 100 post mark, we just couldn't take it anymore. We're not looking for that kind of relationship right now. Let us be clear on this: it's nothing you did. You are the best. Some day, you'll find the blog that's right for you, but for now, it's not us.

Of course we'll remain friends. Are you crazy? No, no, we didn't mean it that way. You're not crazy. Really. No, seriously. See, you're laughing again, you crazy bastard. You are insane. You see, THIS is why we're leaving you. You're a damn NUTCASE. You belong in a mental institution! They can do some great things for you. Now just leave us alone. We have to go. See ya around. Get AWAY from us! Stop following us. We're not listening anymore.

Sure it happens to everyone. You are a few months into your marriage. The honeymoon is over. Way over. So over you actually ran out of the all the soap you stole from the hotel. Anyways... it's over and the reality is setting in. You are stuck with this person for the rest of your life. Now what? Kids? They're over rated. Buying a home? Pfft... who has that kind of money? Drug addiction? Most likely. Alcohol dependency? Most certainly.

Point is, relationships are a bitch. Your wedding will be the highlight, so you better have some pretty good music to back up your lame ass dancing.

Submissions are due tomorrow, ya heard?

Wedding Music Challenge!

(Special Guest: Britt)

It's wedding season, kid. Do you know where your grandmother is? If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's her getting wheeled around a dance floor by some unaccountable weirdo who is spilling his rum and coke all over her Sunday best. And they both like it! Why? Because someone had the good sense to play a song with the power to bring out the young and old, the hammered and the pregnant, the lady and the tramp, and get them all to shake it, and shake it hard. Think it's easy to plan a wedding? Then you're stupid! Think it's easier to plan a wedding playlist? Then you, my friend, are a brave soul.

So come on, hit me with your best shot. I'm hoping you'll see what your submission means to me. I'll think to myself, what a wonderful mix. It's too good to be true, I can't take my eyes off of it. Iiiiaaaiiii will always love it. At last, this mix has come along. It's unforgettable in every way, and forever more, that's how it'll stay. This I promise you.
A little inspiration...

• "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" - Pat Benatar
• "Open Arms" - Journey
• "What a Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong
• "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" - Frankie Vallie
• "I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston
• "Unforgettable" - Nat and Natalie Cole
• "This I Promise You" - *NSYNC

The Good Stuff is a 10-volume set of mixes without any particular unifying theme, apart from that I like all of the songs on all of them. And I hope you do too. Nay, I demand that you do too.

1. "Mr. Blue Sky" - Electric Light Orchestra
2. "A Fond Farewell" - Elliott Smith
3. "The Sound Of Settling" - Death Cab For Cutie
4. "Save Me" - Aimee Mann
5. "Wake Up" - The Arcade Fire
6. "Black And White Town" - Doves
7. "Two Of Us" - The Beatles
8. "Carry The Zero" - Built To Spill
9. "Banditos" - The Refreshments
10. "Blue" - The Jayhawks
11. "Naked As We Came" - Iron & Wine
12. "Slow Hands" - Interpol
13. "We're The Same" - Matthew Sweet
14. "Lola Stars And Stripes" - The Stills
15. "Here's Where The Story Ends" - The Sundays
16. "Everyday I Write The Book" - Elvis Costello
17. "Either Way" - Guster
    

We here at Mixologists often prefer to keep you out of the loop in our personal lives, choosing instead to mock and/or throw feces at you while telling you how much you don't know about music. Well, it's time for a new Challenge!... and this time, it's personal.

Because, you see, I will be getting married in June to the loveliest young lass in all the world. But more importantly, I'll be at the epicenter of a dance party with over 100 people who are older and less hip than myself and my mate. And frankly, I need your help. I need you to make sure my wedding music does not suck.

Sure, we all know the classics: "Louie Louie", "The Twist", "Electric Slide", "The Chicken Dance", "Lady in Red". Let's face it: those songs all suck. And the only reason they still get played at weddings is because they were played at your aunt's wedding, or your cousin's wedding, or little Johnny No-Taste from down the street's wedding. This is the year 2006, and I would like to boldly state that Hall & Oates is no longer acceptable wedding fare.

So, my Challenge! to you is to put together a mix of wedding music. Avoid the standard stuff, but keep it respectable. By now you know the rules:

• Mixes cannot exceed the standard length of a CD - 80 minutes.
• Mixes must be submitted via email: submitmix@googlegroups.com
• There is no limit on the number of mixes that can be submitted by one person.

The deadline for submission is April 28, 2006. We will begin posting mixes on the 28th, but will not accept submissions after that (hence the word "deadline").

(Okay, maybe the Chicken Dance can stay...)

(Submitted by Mandy)
Ahh 1997... 10th grade and the year of the driver's license. I had gotten into good music in 6th or 7th grade, but nothing boosts your cd collection like needing something good to listen to while you drive the semi-beatup car you helped pay for so you could drive back and forth from the restaurant where you worked, and wherever high school adventures would lead. Ahh... those were the days...

1. "Song 2" - Blur
2. "Subterranean Homesick Alien" - Radiohead
3. "One Angry Dwarf" - Ben Folds 5
4. "Hypnotize" - Notorious B.I.G.
5. "Maladjusted" - Morrissey
6. "Angel" - Sarah McLachlan
7. "Good Riddance" - Green Day
8. "Gettin' Jiggy With It" - Will Smith
9. "Bittersweet Symphony" - The Verve
10. "Not Dark Yet" - Bob Dylan
11. "Your Woman" - White Town
12. "Firestarter" - Progidy
13. "Don't Go Away" - Oasis

(Submitted by Bald Ben)
Picture it: Hartman’s porch. An awkward moment between a young strange blond girl uh…lets call her Michelle, and an even stranger blond boy that we will for the sake of a name call Corey. This moment made inevitably more awkward by someone we shall know as Shane as he points out the discomfort between the two strange teenagers. Furthermore setting into motion one of the most dysfunctional relationships this side of Jerry Springer. The Antietam Pool, 12 string flanged out richenbacker guitars, Bald Ben with a full mane of hair. Of course your next thought is, “Man, that takes me back. Where was I in 1992?”. Well if you’re Pumpkinhead you were with me on Hartman’s porch listening to Achtung Baby. The rest of you I’m not too sure, nor does it make a lick of difference to me. However, if you ever wanted to live my life vicariously through the music I ate, slept, and breathed in the early 90’s this is your chance. For the discerning listener a smattering of the music that grew me up right, to be the bald dilettante that I am today.

1. "Do, Re, Me, So Far So Good" - Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
2. "You Can’t Handle the truth" - Clip from “A Few Good Men"
3. "Weirdo" - The Charlatans
4. "Far Gone and Out" - The Jesus and Mary Chain
5. "Walkabout" - The Sugarcube
6. "Wild Horses" - The Sundays
7. "What do you Do... Hurl" - Clip from “Wayne’s World”
8. "Everybody Loves Me But You" - Juliana Hatfield
9. "Walking Through Syrup" - Ned’s Atomic Dustbin
10. "There’s no Crying in Baseball" - Clip from “A League of Their Own”
11. "Certain People I Know" - Morrissey
12. "The Life of Riley" - The Lightening Seeds
13. "From the Edge of a Deep Green Sea" - The Cure
14. "One" - U2
15. "Black Metallic" - Catherine Wheel
16. "It’s a Shame About Ray" - The Lemonheads
17. "Hoo Ha" - Clip from “A Scent of a Woman”
18. "Ordinary Angels" - Frente
19. "The Statue Got Me High" - They Might Be Giants
20. "Next Lover" - James
21. "Stockton Gala Days" - 10,000 Maniacs
22. "Night Swimming" - R.E.M

(Submitted by Britt)

When I look back on 1996, there's a huge difference between what I was actually listening to and what I wish I had been. So rather than just make another guilty pleasures mix (starring Blackstreet, No Doubt, Dave Matthews Band, anything on Y102) I made the mix of my musical taste wishlist circa 9th grade. Some of you lucky sons of bitches were actually listening to this, and so you are cool to me. But regardless of it all, no one can take away the first time I heard Misunderstood. Aaah, 2003. A great year for aged music.

1. "Outta Mind (Outta Sight)" - Wilco
2. "Somebody's Baby" - Yo La Tengo
3. "Wanted to Be Your" - Spoon
4. "Ohio" - Modest Mouse
5. "Fu-gee-la" - The Fugees
6. "She's Electric" - Oasis
7. "Give Me One Reason" - Tracy Chapman
8. "No Name #6" - Elliot Smith
9. "Untouchable Face" - Ani DiFranco
10. "Misunderstood" - Wilco
11. "Devil's Haircut" - Beck
12. "Motoroller Scalatron" - Stereolab
13. "You've Passed" - Neutral Milk Hotel
14. "Sick & Wrong" - Built To Spill

(Submitted by Becker)

She was the girl of my dreams. It was the perfect early May day too in the suburbs of Chicago. Flowers in bloom, birds chirping, we got cable...a good day overall. My Dad even let me take out his new Delorian - because we were rich from what soon became to be called "Junk Bonds" and my Pops was a big fan of men who'd snort a shit load of cocaine and build cars. The music was great for dancing the night. I even saw Coach Atkinson out there cutting some rug...or basketball court - whatever you want to call it. But in the end, it was the music...the music allows me to tell you the story...the story of...

How I Lost My Virginity at Prom '85

1. "Close to Me" - The Cure
2. "Raspberry Beret" - Prince
3. "King of Rock" - Run D.M.C.
4. "Money for Nothin'" - Dire Straits
5. "Don't Come Around Here No More" - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
6. "Holding Back the Years" - Simply Red
7. "Power of Love" - Huey Lewis & the News
8. "Don't Lose My Number" - Phil Collins
9. "The Heat is On" - Glenn Fry
10. "Wild Side" - Motley Crue
11. "The Touch" - Stan Bush
12. "Take On Me" - A-Ha
13. "The Superbowl Shuffle" - Chicago Bears
14. "And She Was" - Talking Heads
15. "Small Town" - John Cougar Mellencamp
16. "Smooth Operator" - Sade
17. "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" - Tears For Fears

I have long maintained that 1994 was the year that I first "got" music. On the border between 7th and 8th grade, between ages 12 and 13, between recess and Vocabulary Workshop, between school dances and ridiculous parts in my hair, between... oh, enough. So enjoy going cross-eyed over the awesomeness of this mix.

1. "Machinehead" - Bush
2. "Buddy Holly" - Weezer
3. "Cut Your Hair" - Pavement
4. "Ease My Mind" - Arrested Development
5. "Laid" - James
6. "Longview" - Green Day
7. "Zombie" - The Cranberries
8. "Loser" - Beck
9. "Feel The Pain" - Dinosaur Jr.
10. "Voodoo Lady" - Ween
11. "The Man Who Sold The World" - Nirvana
12. "Selling The Drama" - Live
13. "Closer" - Nine Inch Nails
14. "Cold Beverage" - G. Love & Special Sauce
15. "Is Chicago, Is Not Chicago" - Soul Coughing
16. "Stupid" - Toad The Wet Sprocket
17. "Backwater" - Meat Puppets
18. "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys
19. "Last Goodbye" - Jeff Buckley
    

(Submitted by Privatjokr)

1. "American Pie" - Don McLean
2. "Me and Bobby McGee" - Janis Joplin
3. "Mercy Mercy Me" - Marvin Gaye
4. "Brown Sugar" - Rolling Stones
5. "Ain't No Sunshine" - Bill Withers
6. "I am...I said" - Neil Diamond
7. "Just My Imagination" - The Temptations
8. "Theme from "Shaft"" - Isaac Hayes
9. "You've Got A Friend" - James Taylor
10. "Maggie May" - Rod Stewart
11. "Black Magic Woman" - Santana
12. "Knock Three Times" - Dawn
13. "An Old Fashioned Love Song" - Three Dog Night
14. "Have You Ever Seen The Rain" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
15. "Imagine" - John Lennon
16. "Love The One You're With" - The Isley Brothers
17. "Peace Train" - Cat Stevens
18. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin

It's Friday and you are probably expecting some Challenge! Entries aren't you? Well that's pretty expectant of you isn't it? Anyways, I am very busy and Moyer hasn't been heard from for weeks. So I have got a plan. Start sending your challenge! Entries now and we will start posting them when we get a chance. We will continue to post the entries for the next few days and stretch it out further than just the weekend. Sound good? I thought so.

If I get a chance I will post our first entry later today. Curious about what year it will be? Here's a hint, it's 1971.

(As for the Love Boat picture... No thanks necessary.)

This past week a man was arrested for singing along with The Clash in a cab. Which, of course, elicits some mandatory jokes...

• A man was arrested for singing the Clash in public, that cab driver must be an even harsher critic than Simon Cowell.
• A man was arrested for singing the Clash in public, and yet Ashlee Simpson remains free to roam about.
• A man was arrested for singing the Clash in public, in related news, a Rancid cover band sentenced to death.

Ah shit, I've got a million of um folks...

• • Man held as terrorism suspect over punk song

Crazy I know. But the weirdest thing, how cool is that cab? It has a port for you to plug in your mp3 player? Man, that is awesome.

If you have been around me for the past two weeks you probably have been asked "Who does this sound like?" I would have been asking about the Guillemotts song "Trains to Brazil", made famous by Beware the Blogs of March. Now I can be pretty annoying normally, but when there is a song that I am sure sounds like another song but I can't figure it out, I am intolerable. So to any of you that faced the wrath of my annoyance, I apologize.

The good news is I figured out what song "Trains to Brazil" sounds like.

Click to listen (for free) or right click to download (also free)

• "Trains to Brazil" - Guillemots
• "Now We're Getting Somewhere" - Crowded House
  

Yes! That makes me feel better. What do you think? Similar huh?

The Good Stuff is a 10-volume set of mixes without any particular unifying theme, apart from that I like all of the songs on all of them. And I hope you do too. Nay, I demand that you do too.

1. "Where Is My Mind?" - Pixies
2. "Momentum" - Aimee Mann
3. "California" - Rufus Wainwright
4. "A Rush Of Blood To The Head" - Coldplay
5. "Catapult" - Counting Crows
6. "Cannonball" - The Breeders
7. "Hate To Say I Told You So" - The Hives
8. "Martha My Dear" - The Beatles
9. "Gravity Rides Everything" - Modest Mouse
10. "So I Fall Again" - Phantom Planet
11. "Designs On You" - Old 97's
12. "Barely Legal" - The Strokes
13. "The Rat" - The Walkmen
14. "Exit Music (For A Film)" - Radiohead
    

It's kinda funny to see big jocks make a mix tape. Normally their mixes will have a John Fogerty song, some audio clip of a sportscaster going nuts and freestyle by a misguided athelete. This is no different. Enjoy opening day, but try not to listen to this unless you are really drunk or slightly stupid.

• Opening Day Baseball Mix
  

(Submitted by Bald Ben)

This weekend a little old man silently passed on in Bakersfield, California. Buck Owens should have been on every front page this weekend. He was the originator of your precious alt.country.

While Chet Atkins was busy dumbing down country music for the white bread American folk, Buck Owens was busy shit-stomping his way into the history books. Gram Parsons, The Beatles, Mike Nezsmith, Dwight Yoakam, The Mavericks, Whiskytown, and a plethora of others owe Mr. Owens a great credit. So do we.

1. "Act Naturally"
2. "Tiger by the Tail"
3. "Under Your Spell Again"
4. "Second Fiddle"
5. "Tall Dark Stranger"
6. "It Takes People Like You (To Make People Like Me)"
7. "Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass"
8. "Excuse Me (I Think I Got A Heartache)"
9. "I Wouldn't Live in New York City (If They Gave Me the Whole Dang Town)"
10. "Sam's Place"
11. "Hello Trouble"
12. "Sweet Rosie Jones"
13. "Waitin' in Your Welfare Line"

In like a lion and out like a lamb, with a whole mess of Caesar killing in the middle. Smell it. It's freaking March. To celebrate the month of madness I have put together a "best of March's music blogs" mix. As an added bonus, all these tracks are free to download.

Enjoy...

1. "You Can Decide" - Field Music | My Old Kentucky Blog
2. "Rivalry" - Figurines | So Much Silence
3. "Living In a Magazine" - Zoot Woman | Feed Me Good Tunes
4. "Soiree" - Maurice Galatica | Feed Me Good Tunes
5. "Parade" - Hey Penny | You Aint No Picasso
6. "Kissing Families" - Silversun Pickups | gorilla vs bear
7. "Deadweight on Velveteen" - Jose Gonzalez | So Much Silence
8. "Owner of a Lonely Heart" - Grizzly Bear | gorilla vs bear
9. "The Flyest Angel" - MF Doom & Nas | Feed Me Good Tunes
10. "Mr Richard" - Belle & Sebastian | Muzzle of Bees
11. Trains to Brazil - Guillemots | You Aint No Picasso
12. "Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me" - The Pipettes | You Aint No Picasso
13. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley | Feed Me Good Tunes
14. "Engwish Bwudd" - Man Man | You Aint No Picasso
15. "Playhouses" - TV On The Radio | CYSTSFTS?
16. "St. Augustine" - Band of Horses | My Old Kentucky Blog
17. "Victim's Hairdo" - Toy Fight | My Old Kentucky Blog
18. "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" - The Subways | My Old Kentucky Blog
19. "There is No Ending" - Arab Strap | Said the Gramophone

What kind of people would we be if we gave you a Challenge! and then simply left you to your own devices? Jerks, that's what. So in an effort to prevent that ever-so-harsh label we will be posting some useful resources over the next couple of days in order to help you out with the current Challenge!.

Do you remember which albums came out in 1987? Guns N' Roses? Def Leppard? Johnny Hates Jazz? Unless you have old issues of Teen Beat lying around you probably don't know. A good resource is Gracenote. You can't search by year but you can check to see if in fact Johnny Hates Jazz came out with an album in 1987 (they didn't).

Wikipedia has a list of songs seperated by year. But since it is Wikipedia it is kinda half-assed and filled with songs complete nerds like. (i.e. Lonley Swedish)

Another good resource, KEXP.org out of Seattle.

More to come later.

Pick a year, folks, any year. Most likely, you're going to want to pick a year within the last 4 or 5 decades. Because Mixologists is laying down another Challenge! We want you to pick a year and make a mix of your favorite songs from that year. They don't even need to be your favorite songs, or even songs for that matter. Okay, they do have to be songs. And preferably good ones. You get the point!

The ground rules are still the same:

• Mixes cannot exceed the standard length of a CD - 80 minutes.
• Mixes must be submitted via email: submitmix@googlegroups.com
• There is no limit on the number of mixes that can be submitted by one person.

The deadline for submission is April 8, 2006. We will begin posting mixes on the 7th, but will not accept submissions after that (hence the word "deadline").

Some tips:

• Don't pick 2005. Too soon.
• Try to blend a range of genres in your mix. Diversity is much appreciated.
• The order of the songs on your playlist is highly important. The mix should flow like wine.
• Bonus points for incorporating songs and/or artists that may be a little out of the ordinary, provided they don't ruin the flow.

So you crazy fools, bring us a musical blast from the musical past, and answer this Challenge!