Mixologists wants to let you down easy
by The Full Moyer, 3:25 PM 
Can we talk for a minute? There are some things we want to get off our chests. Maybe you should sit down for this one. (Why the hell are you standing up at a computer?) Since we don't want to waste your time or ours, we'll get right to the point. This isn't working out. You know, between us. This whole thing. We've grown apart. Wait, before you interrupt, just let us finish. This is no joke.Why are you laughing? You see, this is exactly what we're talking about! We try to be serious for a minute, and you just want to sit there and laugh and make a big fat joke out of it. No, of course it's not your fault. It's not you, it's us. We just can't devote the attention to you that we used to. You gave us your heart, we gave you a pen. Things are changing for us. Good things. We just think it would be better for both of us if we ... didn't see you anymore.
We know, we know, it's not easy to hear. But, listen, we still think you're a great person. We're not saying we don't want to be friends, but, well, things just got moving too quickly for us, and soon we were spinning out of control. And once we hit that 100 post mark, we just couldn't take it anymore. We're not looking for that kind of relationship right now. Let us be clear on this: it's nothing you did. You are the best. Some day, you'll find the blog that's right for you, but for now, it's not us.
Of course we'll remain friends. Are you crazy? No, no, we didn't mean it that way. You're not crazy. Really. No, seriously. See, you're laughing again, you crazy bastard. You are insane. You see, THIS is why we're leaving you. You're a damn NUTCASE. You belong in a mental institution! They can do some great things for you. Now just leave us alone. We have to go. See ya around. Get AWAY from us! Stop following us. We're not listening anymore.
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